Hello everyone and welcome to the blog! So firstly I wanted to say thank you for being here on the first official blog post of ‘itsokaynottobeokay’. I know that my bio says im a mental health blogger, and I will be but today I wanted to write about something that I have been feeling and thinking recently!

A question that I seem to be asking myself a lot lately is ‘Did I really make the right decision?’ What I mean by that question is, did I make the right decision about what I’m doing right now? I have officially doubted myself!

All through my life, I have never been 100% certain on what I really want to do. I always changed my mind at least every 2 months. I wanted to be a teacher, a doctor, a firefighter, a TV presenter, an actress, a singer, a teacher again, an author, and a journalist. My mind has always changed on what I wanted to do with my future and I am pretty sure there was a few things that I missed off on that list!

I always wanted to go to Oxford University, that was my dream. I knew that I would never be smart enough to reach that so I picked a university that didn’t have as high entry requirements! When I thought that was where I wanted to go, I still didn’t know what path I wanted to take and what I wanted to study. There was so many options on some amazing courses I could have chosen but I still didn’t have a clue! Did I want to go into the childcare sector and use my health and social skills or did I want to pursue what I always thought was my dream, to become a writer.

I have always enjoyed writing, its always been a passion of mine. Journaling, writing my thoughts on certain subjects, I was once so interested in the history of Salem that I wrote a whole report on it! My point is, no matter what sort of writing it entailed, I really loved it.

So what happened? Why didn’t I take a creative writing course in uni? Or, a multimedia journalism course? I dont know. I doubted if I could handle the stress and demands of university life, I mean sixth form was struggle enough! I put an end to that dream and started looking for a job. This is where I came across what I am doing now, I am an apprentice TA. I can’t say that I love it but I can’t say I hate it! I do my coursework set by my tutor and do my best to support the kids I work with, its rewarding but I dont feel the passion that I do when writing!

I want to keep going with my apprenticeship and see out the whole two years and be fully qualified to see what other doors that opens up for me but I also want to pursue writing, I love it, I feel great passion when I finish a piece.

So, did I make the right choice for me or am I still floating around discovering what my career thoughts are and what they want to be?

I hope that you enjoyed my post and found it a little helpful to hear another persons opinion! I am sorry that it took so long to get a post out! See you all next time!